


Sing Me A Song

by MysticallyGallavich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Closeted Mickey, F/M, Fans, Ian/Mickey, Love, M/M, famous couple, press, singers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2018-07-28 21:08:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7656814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian Gallagher is a man in love,  a man in love with Mickey Milkovich, famous singer, and one-half of the most famous power couple out of Chicago. unfortunately for him, he isn't the other half of that couple. While he spends his alone time with the man he loves, Mickey spends his public time with his girlfriend of ten years. and Ian can't deal with it. He wants what is his out and in the open. But can mickey manage to give that to him? Does the girl even know that her long time boyfriend, can't love her the way she deserves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Secrets of the Famous

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you start listening to music, dancing around your living room, and inspiration strikes. Should i continue this? I'm really unsure at the moment.

Chapter one:

 

 

Ian Gallagher settled into one of the front row seats before the show began. It was going to be the concert of the year it had been said. Televised and everything. Fans had been waiting for years for the opportunity to witness the magic that was Mickey Milkovich and his equally famous girlfriend Alyx of ten years on stage together in an epic concert of love. It was all anyone could talk about. Especially the press. The beautiful love story that played Out over the years. In glorious detail. It made him absolutely sick to his stomach. It was bad enough knowing that the same man that held him close on those rare occasions that they were alone, was the same man that would walk onto this stage tonight holding on to her, loving her.  He had tried to deal with his emotions over the fact, but it usually just ended up in a heated argument. 

 

An argument in which Mickey swore than he and Alyx were just for show, that they meant nothing to each other. He swore that Alyx knew about his sexuality, that she was fine with it, but the truth still stood, as far as all these people were concerned, and sometimes he wondered if the beautiful woman even really knew about Mickey, or if Mickey was playing them both and that thought broke his heart. Before he had met Mickey, he had always loved her, she was kind of amazing on that stage and beautiful in her own right. But now, now that he loved Mickey, he hated her, and he hated himself for that. It wasn’t professional, but it still stood, he wished he could stand on that stage with Mickey, loving Mickey like only she was allowed to.

 

He took a breath in as the couple came out, practicing some of their songs, laughing, joking like a couple that had been in love for too many years to count. She really was beautiful.  She stood in the center of the stage, mic hooked up, belting out some lyrics, that seemed to be meant for Mickey, even worse.  Her Dark brown hair, hung to her hips, styled almost perfectly, her beautiful green eyes shining out, Mickey surely had a thing for green eyes, he thought, thinking of his own, that wasn’t nearly as bright as hers were. The simple top and pants covered her body as she practiced, not yet dressed up for the night. But she still wore black heels, maybe to make sure she was comfortable with the moves she would be doing in them later. She was mesmerizing, as a singer, as a woman, if you were into that, and sadly he wondered sometimes if Mickey actually was.  Maybe he liked them both, he didn’t know, he couldn’t be sure as he was watching them.

 

Watching as Mickey stepped up flashing a smile out and spun her around, practicing, when they messed up they just laughed and the look in Mickey's eyes was that of love and adoration that he was sure of. This was going to be a long night. Why had he agreed to come and watch this spectacle? Oh, that’s right, his record label required it. Great.

 

\--

 

Alyx sighed as she slouched against the wall of her trailer, getting ready for tonight. She just wanted to go home, relax in a nice long bath, and forget about this stupid concert or what she was supposed to be doing tonight.  She looked up when Mickey walked in looking beaten down and frustrated.  “Ronnie wants it to be tonite.” He says sadly and she groans loudly.

 

“Seriously? Tonight? Isn’t this shit show enough for them?” she says and shakes her head.

 

“Apparently not, apparently, it is a must-have. For the best most powerful couple, blah blah blah, to announce their fucking engagement tonite. This is fucking stupid.” He says.

 

“we could always refuse?” she says softly.

 

“and then those fuckers will out me.” He says.

 

“yea, so out yourself.” She has the answer and he shakes his head.

 

“No fucking way am I standing out on that stage and saying that shit. Aint gonna happen.” He argues.

 

“Fine, then we get up there, sing, and tell the world that we are getting married, watch them swoon, and watch our personal lives go straight to the shitter. He’s here ya know?” she says and he looks up at her.

 

“They both are. We’re fucked.” He sighs. And she nods. He, of course, is referring to both of their secrets.  Hers in the form of a tall and dark handsome as hell man in a business suit. And His, the tall gorgeous red-head that she had spotted staring at her like she was taking everything he ever wanted away from him.

 

“Are you sure about this Mickey, he looked so…I just wanted to hug that fucker, even if right now he’d rather see me burn in the deepest fires of hell.”

 

“Oh whatever, he adores you, huge fan.” He rolls his eyes and she laughs.

 

“Somehow I think that even if that were true, the thought of me marrying his love will squash that shit right to hell Mickey.” He nods.

 

“maybe.”

 

\--

 

“Everyone welcome to the Stage the amazing and talented Mickey Milkovich”  cheers erupt, and on this stage for the first time ever together in concert…his lovely girlfriend and equally amazing talent   Alyx Keaz!!”  and cheers get even louder as the woman steps out and places her hand in Mickey’s.

 

 

Ian watches intently as they sing to each other. He needs a fucking breath. And he walks around the side and lets himself into the performer's entrance, what the hell was the lovely pass for anyway, but for him to break down in silence. Watching them was fucking killing him. He had obviously been had, he wasn’t stupid, he knew it, he saw the huge fucking ring on her finger that appeared after the first couple of songs. They were fucking engaged?  Why didn’t Mickey tell him, oh that’s right because he liked having him on the side while he lived out his epic fucking romance?

 

 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me!?!  What do you want?  This not enough  for you asshole. We got out on that stage, I put the fucking ring on my damn hand, and now you want me to fucking do what?”

 

“You will…this is not up for discussion, you know the terms Alyx.”

 

“You’re a fucking prick. These are peoples lives your fucking with you insensitive prick. I hate you. You know that? When this contract is over, I will fucking ruin you!!!” he heard her yell and Ian was curious as to why she was so angry.

 

“Oh please. That’s three years away darling, by then, you and your boyfriend will be old news. Money making business darling. You give the people what they want.”

 

“Oh yeah because those people seriously care who i'm fucking? Really? You may get mick to believe that line of bullshit but I don’t. Do you really think they’d care that fucking much if we broke up, no, so go fuck off.”

 

“Not care? Do you not remember how your sales went up when the two of you got together? Two mediocre singers, brought together to make a powerhouse couple.  All couples have problems love, you work through them and get over it. So do that get over it.”

 

“Problems?”

 

“You had your little fling with the billionaire, and he had his little fling with the fag, move on.”  Ian froze, Mickey’s manager knew about them?

 

“Fling?  Fling?  That’s what you call real relationships?  Flings because they don’t make you any money.  Well, go fuck yourself. You prick.”

 

“Watch it bitch, wouldn’t want your little boyfriend to accidentally get outted would we?” and he hears her groan in frustration.

 

 

 

\--

 

Alyx turns around to see a stock-still Ian Gallagher staring at her in wonderment and she let out a dry laugh.

 

“Hey red. What are you doing back here?” she asks sweetly. He kind of hates her a little less right now.

 

“Wanted to get away for a minute. Intense love and all that.”

 

“You overhear something that you shouldn’t have?” she asks curiously.

 

“Nah, I think maybe I might have needed to hear whatever I heard.” He says and she nods but walks up to him and lifts his chin with her finger and he stares at the ring on her hand.

 

“It is a beautiful ring.” He says softly.

 

“Mmm, want to see a really great ring?” she asks. And he looks at her, and she grabs the chain on her neck and lifts the ring out from her cleavage and the ring she holds is beautiful. Amazing even.

 

“That ring right there is a ring bought from love. This shit show ring can die. Want to see another one she says holding up her pinky.  This one my supposed fiancée actually did buy. A long time ago.” She winks and he looks down at it. Stares at it.  “Friendship ring. He’s got one too.”

 

“I’ve seen it. Didn’t know you got it…Umm. You should probably get back out there.”

 

“hey don’t be like that, I’m being real with you red. When we were kids, I promised him to protect him from anything forever. No matter what. I meant that. I meant it when we were running away from his asshole father and I mean it now, no matter the consequences. Don’t give up on him okay? There’s a lot of fear in those eyes if you look deep enough. Just don’t give up on him.”  And Ian just stares at the woman who only a short time ago he hated for having his mickey, and now, he really didn’t know what to think or feel about her.


	2. Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey have a chat, and Mickey remembers how he met Ian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly working through all my stuff. :) Hope you like this. Still unsure about this one. not the story itself, just how i sat it up. -shrugs- :)

Chapter two: 

 

Mickey looked out from the stage as he sang as Ian sat back down. Where had he gone off to? He was going to miss that gorgeous red-head, because he knew the second that engagement was announced followed by the jaw-dropping kiss that was supposed to follow him and that man would be done. Ian would leave him and who could blame him.

 

And there it was, his queue. The song started to play. Some sappy bullshit that he and Alyx sang together and they did, as they always did and the song ended and he took a breath in and took her hand. He saw the tears brimming in her eyes. Her heart was just about to break even more than his and it was all his fault and the stupid promise his best friend had made him. His stupid fucking fears. If he had balls he would just do it, tell the world that he was gay and in love with someone else. Bring his guy n the stage and would grab hers and even if they never sang another damn song they would be happy. Well for a minute at least.

 

“We would like to officially welcome you all to our official concert.  Not that we haven’t performed together over the years. We have. Since forever. This woman has been my rock since forever.  As most of you know, she has been my best friend, since before there was a stage to sing on…” Mickey looks down over towards Ian who is watching intently, but theres something different about his expression than before. He doesn’t look angry or about to walk out, and Mickey wonders how he hides it so well. Ironic coming from him, who hides his whole life from all of these people.  Then he looks sideways at Alyx  and she just smiles lightly but there’s pain in her eyes. So much pain because this was for him and if she had her way she would jump of that stage.  Always for him.

 

“this lady right here is my soulmate. My lifeline, always will be no matter what.” He says and smiles lightly. Its true, even if there is nothing romantic there, she is his lifeline. Always there, and he takes a breath as he grabs the hand and holds it up showing her ring.  “She said yes” he just states and the crowd cheers. There he did the stupid shit. Well almost.

 

 

Ian looks up because Mickey’s intense eyes are on him, captivating. To the crowd he was looking out, showing off his lady, but Ian could see it, in his eyes, and in hers too. He had never noticed that before, before he had talked to her, that her eyes held a something too, a sadness that nobody could see. But mickeys right now were trying to tell him something. He thinks it was to tell him to look away, that whatever he was supposed to do would hurt them both, and he knew then because even though Mickey didn’t know he had heard it he had. This was the grand seal it with a kiss. And Ian just nodded at mickey a little, he knew he could see him and Mickey turned back and grabbed his fiancée swiftly and pulled her in for a big dramatic kiss causing the crowd to go wild.

 

Ian sighed but didn’t turn away, he needed to see this. It was decision time. Either he decided he couldn’t handle living in the shadows forever and he walked away from mickey forever or he swallowed his damn pride and became the secret even more than he already was. And honestly he didn’t know what to do.

 

 

 

 

Mickey paced his dressing room. “God…why do I have to be such a pussy.” He groaned and heard the chuckle from behind him.  “Great, here to yell at me?” he asks the man standing there.

 

“No. Alyx sent me. Said she needed to talk to me and she’d be here in a minute. Don’t know why I came anyway. Nice show up there though.  You sure you're gay? Not just playing a game?”  he says.

 

“Funny man, don’t think you can fake taking it up the ass…do you?” Mickey snarks a little but the truth is he gets it. The man is fighting for his life, and Mickey is in his way, and he understands the hatred because of that. He actually liked the guy, had the best friend stamp of approval.

 

“Well, you could…cant see why you would but whatever man.  Heard your man is here tonight?”

 

“Until he dumps me for being a coward, yeah.” Mickey says and looks away.

 

“you know…damn it. Nevermind.” Chris huffs obviously conflicted.

 

“Go ahead man. It’s your life too.” Mickey says because he needs to but he cant look at him, the man that loves his best friend and deserves better.  If he wasn’t so fucking scared of outside forces, he’d just do it.

 

“I just…how long are you going to let this go on before you take your life back Mickey? How long are you gonna let stupid fuckers control who you love?”

 

“Look man I'm sorry…I know this is your life too…and if it weren’t for…things, I’d walk away and set her free ya know? I do love that girl. She's my best friend.” He says sadly

 

“Im not talking about me man.  I made the decision to be with that girl a long fucking time ago, well not really a decision. Sure it fucking hurts when she's up there with you, even if I know its nothing, its still not me. But that’s a lot different than hiding in the closet man. You know shed do anything for you, and if that means finding ways to keep Gallagher around here, she’ll do that, but is he willing to hide away for you?  Hide in that closet until your someday maybe ready to show the world how much you love him? What if that never happens? How long can he stay around and be your secret?”  Mickey would have come up with an answer except he hears the clearing of his best friends throat and turns to her. She is glaring at her boyfriend, and folding her arms.

 

“What did I…” she starts and Mickey holds up his hand...

 

“Don’t yell at him, I told him to say it, alright, it’s okay for him to tell me how he feels Ali, his life too.” She nods. “Well, I have a very special birthday present for you.” She says smiling and he does to because he had almost forgot.

 

“unless this present is in the form of a 6ft tall red-head with mesmerizing green yes,  amazing abs and an even more amazing dick….can the gift giving wait until later.” He says because he really needs to find Ian and explain or something.

 

“Unfair…How does he always know???” she says laughing and Mickey snaps his head to the door to find Ian Gallagher laughing silently and waves a hand at him.  Fucking fuck.  He can feel his face heat up. 

 

“Hey, Mick.” The red-head says and Alyx ushers him inside the room. 

 

“Alright, we all need to talk but first. We're gonna be in the room over here.”

 

“Don't forget the condoms!” Mickey Hollars and she flips him off.

 

 

Ian sits down in the chair across from Mickey. “I can see why you get along. She's nice.” He says.

 

“Yeah she's pretty great,” Mickey says staring at the wall really.

 

“Your soulmate huh?” Ian asks and Mickey sighs.

 

“Yeah man. She kinda is. In a way. Your soulmate isn't always someone you bang or even have romantic feelings for. It's just somebody who gets you, more than anyone else I guess. And I'm a shit friend to her.” He says sadly.

 

“How so?” Ian asks.

 

“Because of it weren't for some stupid fucking promise she made when she was 10, she'd be free and happy to love him. And not be protecting me from the world.”

 

“What is it that you think is gonna happen if you come out?” Ian asks curiously.

 

“Do we have to do this?”

 

“Yes. If I'm gonna sign on for this. All of this. Throwing myself back into that oversized closet of yours, after everything I've done to be open and honest about who I am to myself, the public, I need to know.” That caused Mickey to look at him.

 

“You thinking about doing this with me?” He asks. Ian just nods. “It's not just the public. I mean sure it could trash my career for lying for so long but it's about more. My dad, my brothers, and some things she doesn't even know about. Things they want to say about her….about things that happened.” Ian eyes him curiously but doesn't ask.

 

“Will you ever? I mean what he said before, is it a forever thing?”

 

“I don't know. I mean after the contract we don't have to be together anymore but will I tell the world I'm gay? That I want to be with a man…I don't know if I'll ever be ready to do that honestly. It's the biggest reason I tried to avoid this with you, because it's so unfair to ask that of you.”

 

"Are you sure that's really why you tried to avoid this, us?" He says with a light chuckle. 

 

\---

 

_Mickey plopped down on the couch of the record label he had called home for such a long time. He waited for his meeting to start and flipped through the magazine on the desk, bored out of his mind. He looked down when his phone rang and saw Alyx displayed across it and he smiled before picking up._

_"Yo, buttercup." He says and laughed when he heard her groan._

_"Shut up asshat. What are you doing tonite?  I need a decoy" She says and he laughs loudly before looking around._

_"Alright, alright. What time shall I pick up the princess and where are we going now?" he asks and listens to her while looking around bored._

_He hears the low talks as the door opens and he looks up but almost drops his magazine at the sight that walks out.  Tall, gorgeous, sexy as hell,  all check, and he knew the face...wait..fuck... It was Ian Gallagher, the label's new singer, the very beautiful out and gay as hell, new singer.  Damn it._

_\--_

“I don't know what to do about all of this Mickey. I love you, I really fucking do…” Ian stammers searching for the words to describe how he's feeling.

 

“But you can't be my secret anymore? I get it. I wish it wasn't like this. But I get that you need to walk away from me. I love you too ya know? I wish I had the balls to walk out on that stage with you.” Mickey looks down at his feet.

 

Ian sighs. From the first time, he saw Mickey he knew there was something about him that he couldn't shake. Sure he had seen him on tv and had a massive crush on him because his voice was fucking melodic and amazing but in person was something else.

 

_“Ian, this is Mickey Milkovich.” Mark had said._

_“I know.” Ian spits out and blushes a little causing Mickey to smirk at him a little. “Huge fan.” He finishes._

_“Oh, sorry didn't realize you were into that particular brand of music,” Mark says joking._

_“What a gay man can't appreciate that kind of music?” Ian asks with his most serious face while mark stammers._

_“No…no…I meant because your music styles are so different…I wasn't…” And Mickey and Ian burst out laughing._

_“Marky mark chill, he's fuckin with you.” Mickey continues his laughter and Ian just smiles brightly at him. That fucking smile would do him in someday, he was sure of it._

\--

 

“Didn’t fucking say I was leaving Mickey.”  Ian says moving to Mickey and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.  “I just need to know what I’m getting myself into.  Up until now, it was all about this bubble we’re in, now you don’t just have a beard, or a girlfriend, you are engaged, that means there's an impending woman. And while it’s a little better knowing that she isn’t some poor girl in the dark, because that…I couldn’t handle that. But I need to know Mickey, am I just a passing thing for you? You gonna wake up one day and walk away? I’m not hiding in the shadows to be something you toss away.”  Ian says.

 

“You’re actually willing to try this with me?  But yesterday…” Mickey says.

 

“Yesterday I hadn’t actually met her, she adores you ya know. Met her backstage before the end of the concert. Arguing with some guy about you. Made me realize that if she could make the world okay for you, she would.” Ian says.

 

“Yeah, she’s always been like that, since we were kids.  You know she kissed me once, I mean like for real, before I came out.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Ian asks curiously.

 

 

_A thirteen-year-old Alyx leans in and kisses her best friend lightly and bites her lips as she backs up. The look of shock crosses Mickey’s face and something else…she thinks he might freak out and run any minute. They had plenty of conversations in which Mickey had verbally voiced his hatred of kissing, or even thinking about it._

_“Al…I’m…not that it wasn’t nice and all….but…” He stammers looking around wondering if anybody is watching. If it could get back to his dad._

_“but you’re not into me or just the kissing?  It’s cool mouse.” She says and he rolls his eyes._

_“Or…wrong gender….uh al…I think…I am…gay.” He chokes on the last part and looks down. “fuck don't tell anyone okay.” He says ashamed._

_“Okay.” She says lightly and then holds his chin up. “Hey. I won’t ever tell anyone you don’t want me to okay?” he nods and just like that, whatever she had maybe been feeling for her best friend was gone, and she was back to wanting to protect him from the world and she kisses him lightly again. “We could fake it?” she says and he eyes her. “Think about it, they already think we’re dating, everyone, so me and you, together. Not like I'm gonna find anyone in this shitthole, until you’re ready to tell the world about you, I’ll be your girlfriend.” She says and he smiles at her._

 

\--

 

“Sounds like she makes a lot of promises to you.  Ever break one?” he asks and Mickey shakes his head.

 

“Not really, she accidentally outed me once. To some idiot…actually to your brother.” He says chuckling a little.

 

“Like Lip?” he asks and Mickey nods.

 

“Never thought about that before, it’s when we were kids, before, you know before we got discovered and left. I don’t even know what she said but that fucker smirked and I started freaking out, and when she started threatening him he just laughed, some smart remark about not caring who I fuck.”  Ian laughs at that, because it sounds a lot like lip.  “ I don't know if I'll ever be able to be out. But no you are not fleeting.”

 

Ian nods at that. “Okay then.”  He kisses mickey lightly.  “I don’t know if I’ll be okay with that forever, but today I am. Is that good enough for you?” he asks and Mickey nods.

 

“Today it is.” He says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MysticallyGallavich (Tumblr) Still on a writing bender, or trying to be. lol. 
> 
> Much Love


	3. Badass Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alyx just wants to get out of this meeting and go home, before she snaps and kills one of these idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another one. Writing land is so sweet. :) Love you guys.

Sing Me A Song   -----     Chapter Three: 

 

Alyx took a deep breath, trying to control her temper, which was not an easy task when you spent most of your life being best friends with Mickey Milkovich.  She touched her side where a familiar phrase lied under her jeans.  She thought back to the day when she and her idiot of a best friend had decided to get tattoos. His famous, fuck-u-up displayed across his fingers and her equally important, _Fuck with me, I dare you_ displayed on her side.  Mickey had picked it out and had laughed for days when she actually got it. Sometimes he would even press his finger on her hip sometimes as if to remind her, she was a badass bitch and nobody could fuck with her. 

 

It was true that she adored the man. She had since she was a child. The world thought they were this fucking power couple, this force and sure they fucking were, without all that lovey-dovey bullshit or the sex, because that would be fucking gross.  Currently sitting in this meeting, she is seconds away from standing up and telling every fucking last one of them to go fuck themselves. Wedding planners?  Fuck you. A public event? Fuck you again.  She swears in her head if these fuckers start talking honeymoons and children, she is going to pull out the knife in her bra and cut every fucking one of them open.

 

And she would too if it weren’t for Mickey sitting next to her looking fucking broken. She knew he couldn’t handle it if she stood up and told them to fuck off. Because that would mean them telling the world what he was, and even though she thought that it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Who could possibly hate anything as beautiful as the way that dorky red-head looking at her best friend like he hung the fucking moon or some shit? And that is why she wished she could parade them for the world to see. Fuck the record, fuck the sales, one word from Mickey and that’s exactly what she would do. Her career could fuck off a bridge for all she cared.  Some things were more important than that fucked up shit. Like fucking love.   Her love for Chris, or Mickey’s love for Ian. Even if he wouldn’t say the actual words, didn’t make it any less true.

 

Alyx could recall the exact moment she knew that her best friend had found someone. She had been sitting on the couch of her trailer, writing a song, working some of it out in her head when he sat down across from her. He didn’t say anything but that wasn’t unusual for Mickey, it was when she heard it. It was a laugh, no it was a fucking giggle. She stopped mid-strum from her guitar and eyed him suspiciously, he was staring at his phone and he had this huge fucking smile on his face and he was fucking giggling, much like she had done a lot anytime she had ever had a crush on a guy, but especially when she had met Chris the first time, every text or call had put her into this giddy state, a state that Mickey had teased her for mercilessly, and then she could have returned the favor but she didn’t she just put her head down and continued to pretend to write because if there was anything that she knew for sure about Mickey, it was how to get him to shut down and she didn’t want him to do that.

 

It would be two months after that, that he was staring intently at her like he wanted to say something. Like everything in his life depended on her reaction to it.  “What is it?” she had asked him that day and he stammered and stuttered until he finally said it.

 

“I met someone Alyx, and I need to talk to you about it, but I need you to not go all schoolgirl on me, and nobody can fucking know about this.” He had said. And she agreed, and then she had listened to her best friend drone on about this guy. This red-head with green eyes as he described him. He talked about him, in great detail, and the smile, that fucking smile that she would kill anyone if it meant he had that look in his eyes every day for the rest of his life.

 

And that is why, right now she wanted to jump over this table, but didn’t. because he didn’t want her to. Because he wasn’t ready for that shit, but god she would give up all of her money and fame if he asked, just to see that look on his face again.   “Can we go now?” she asks, not giving a shit anymore.

 

“Have you been listening?” Gary asks and she rolls her eyes.

 

“Wedding planner, we fucking got it. Can we go now?” She says.

 

“Just one minute,” Loraine says.  “We need to be perfectly clear on where we lie on the scandals?  Meaning none at all.” The woman says and Alyz clenches her fist, and Mickey grabs her hand to soothe her because he knew how close she was to snapping at these fucking assholes.

 

“One word about…any particular past times from either of you and…” Jason starts, looking sad about it. Because he was, he didn’t want to say it or even fucking enforce the bullshit but she knows he didn’t have a choice, so she decided to help him out.

 

“Yeah I get it, you’ll out Mickey, okay we got it.” She says rolling her eyes.

 

“And…other things will come to light, things about your past,” Loraine says.  There it was and she looks to Mickey and he has this fucking angry scowl.  He knew.  He fucking knew. And then she gets it. This isn’t just about him, he’s protecting her too.

 

“Excuse me?” she asks. “You wanna say that a-fucking-gain. You are fucking blackmailing me? With that shit.” She shakes her head. “Whatever, can I fucking go now.” She says the memories running into her fucking head of a time long ago, a time she never wants to fucking remember.  Fuck these dicks.

 

 

 

“Hey Al, You know…I’ll protect you, right? Forever.” Mickey says softly.

 

“Just as I will you. But don’t lie to me. If it weren’t for my past, would you still hide? Or would you give it all up for him?” she asks as they walk down the street hand in hand.  Keep up fucking appearances, but in truth, she really needed that hand in hers right now.

 

“I don’t know honestly. I mean. In three years, when it’s no longer about what these fucks want. What then? If he sticks around, what then?”

 

“We fucking run for our lives?” she asks smiling.

 

“Yeah, not that easy this time Al.”

 

“Never was.  Just so we are clear. I will always support you, you wanna bust out of that oversized closet and tell the world that you are…what you are.” She says looking around to make sure she isn’t overheard.  “I’m right fucking there, fuck what they know. I’ll stand up and tell the whole fucking world if it means your happy.  Anything for you mouse.” She says and he smiles.

 

“I know, just as much as you know, I’ll never let you sacrifice yourself for me like that. Not for this. Have you told…does he know?” he asks and she shakes her head.

 

“I need to tell him, in case this ever blows up in our fucking faces. But I just…It’s a lot. The things I did.”

 

“You were sick Al.” He says. And she nods.

 

“Yeah like fuck, the world is gonna care. I don’t care about the fame anymore, ya know. I love what we do, don’t ever fucking think I don’t. But I think sometimes, sometimes it isn’t worth the price ya know?” she says and he nods.

 

“Don’t I fucking know it. Without this fame, I could just come out in some local fucking bar or some shit and take my boyfriend home and fuck him all over half of Chicago.” He whispers and she laughs.

 

“Hey, that sounds like a great fucking plan. Stress relief.” She says wiggling her eyebrows and he just eyes her.

 

“Let’s get fucking wasted, and get laid.” She says smiling brightly.

 

“And how do you suppose we do that?” He asks, they were supposed to be out on the town tonight on a fucking date.

 

“Oh, you leave that to me, my love.” She says laughing almost manically. And he shakes his head at her.

 

“Whatever buttercup,” Mickey says linking his arms in hers as they continue to walk, knowing full well that there are people across the street, or in a tree, taking fucking pictures right now.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been getting more prompts. ;) Keep em comin guys. Gotta give me something to do during the day...LOL. I say that like im not writing a million and one things. but whatever. gimme more. 
> 
> mysticallygallavich (tumblr) - come talk to me. ;)


	4. It begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian spend some time with Alyx, and they remember how it all started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. I didn't realize how long it had been since i updated this. Shame on me. Lucky for me, I wrote it in my head at work. I seriously have a problem with doing that. Oh well. Anyways. 
> 
>  
> 
> Songs included are. 
> 
> -Obvious - Christina Aguilera
> 
> -Does He love you - Reba Mcentire feat. Linda Davis.

Sing Me A Song: Chapter 4

 

 

“Have you lost your ever-loving mind?” Chris says into the phone at his girlfriend, hopefully, one day fiancee’.  She wanted him to do fucking what?

 

“Come on babe. It’s just for show. Then we can all go to your house…and end the night on a positive note.” She says seductively.  Fucking hell.

 

“Fucking fine. What time am I picking up my date?” He growls out, this is just fucking fantastic. He says shaking his head after hearing what and where he would be going on a double date with his girlfriend and her public fiancée. But he would do anything for that woman.

 

\--------------------

 

“I am doing what?” Ian asks lightly.  While pacing his floor but on the phone with Alyx.  

 

“You are going to go on a date…a public date with a guy.”

 

“Why?” he asks. Shaking his head as Alyx speaks.

 

“Because. Mick and I have to go, and we want to end our nights, right where we want them.  So me and mick on a date and you and Chris on a date.” She says and Ian chokes on his drink.

 

“Chris? As in your boyfriend?” He says.

 

“If we can fake it, so can you, loverboy. Just don’t get too handsy, I’ll have to hurt you.” She giggles.

 

 

 

 

 

The dinner was somewhat normal, normal for Mickey and Alyx at least+969+. People taking pictures and they put on a show. A show that both of them are sick of putting on. It's when they finally all make it into the oversized house that they can all breathe again. It's mere seconds before Alex jumps into Chris's arms. “God I missed you,” she says kissing him hard.

 

Mickey looks over at Ian however nervous. While Chris was used to hiding in the shadows for her, Ian wasn't. They had been seeing each other for months sure. But not like this, not so openly lying like that.  “You still like me?” Mickey asks and Ian chuckles.

 

“If I didn't, would I have just gone on the most awkward date of my life?” Ian asks and Mickey smiles. He pulls Ian in, alum and Chris already bounded up the stairs to her bedroom. Mickey kisses him lightly.

 

“Missed those lips,” Mickey says to him and Ian smiles against Mickey's kisses. “You cool if we head up stairs and curl up,” Mickey says quietly and Ian chuckles.

 

“You want to cuddle with me?” Ian asks, remembering a time when Mickey told him he didn't do that shit.

 

“Shut up,” Mickey says pulling him with him.

 

\--

 

 

 

_“Wanna go somewhere…alone?” Ian asks Mickey. He didn't really know the guy but he couldn't contain himself after flirting with him for the entirety of their interactions in the last couple of weeks._

_“Why we gotta be alone? Perfectly fine here” Mickey says but there's something in his eyes that betray him. He acts like he doesn't know what Ian was asking but Ian knows that he does, and that was a solid no. So he shrugs and walks away. If Ian was anything it wasn't stupid. So he just went about his life. Mickey Milkovich wasn't worth getting stupid over. Except he was._

_Weeks went by, every time Ian saw Mickey he couldn't help but continue flirting. Mickey flirted back, he knew he did. The signs were all there so he had figured, that his relationship, the one he had heard about on tv was for show. Why was she never with him? Why was he always where Ian was, laughing and flirting. Ian started to feel like he was losing his mind, as he sat on the big couch in the studio writing a song._

_Mickey walked in and smiled this beautiful smile and sat down next to Ian. His hand brushed Ian's, and he grabbed his own notebook and started writing._

_“Did our studio time overlap?” Ian asks wondering why Mickey was here right now._

_“Mm, no. My studio time is in an hour. Wanted to get some more time in. People don't usually care as long as I'm quiet. Want me to go to another one until your done?” Mickey says while writing something on a piece of paper._

_“No, it's fine. I'm finishing up this and am I'm gonna start recording. Write away.” Ian says. And his voice shakes a little because now what was he gonna record. If he sang this song…would Mickey know it was about him? Fuck it. He gets up and heads into his booth. He's not really recording today. He's just getting it out._

_“Where's your sound guy man?” Mickey asks._

_“Just practicing I guess. He'll be here tomorrow.”_

_“Alright. I can play with it for you, so you can hear it back.”_

_“You're writing though?” Ian says and Mickey shrugs._

_“I can multitask. Been doing this shit for years, man. Go ahead.” Mickey says._

_Ian takes in a breath and sticks his headphones on.  He listens as the music starts. The music he spent months getting together. Just because he was new at this, didn't mean he didn't work just as hard as everyone else._

**_Can you hear it in my voice_ **

**_Was it something I let slip_ **

**_Does the whole world know_ **

**_Isn't it obvious?_ **

****

_Mickey watched Ian sing and it was beautiful. Not just his voice, his voice was great, it's true but he had something not everybody had when they sang, especially a new song. It was in his eyes like he was singing directly to Mickey. And that thought alone sent shivers down his spine. Holy fuck._

****

**_I'm the one who's in control_ **

**_Now I'm acting like a fool_ **

**_Do my feelings show?_ **

**_Is my face aglow?_ **

**_Isn't it obvious?_ **

****

_Mickey watched as Ian looked him in the eyes. Even though that glass. He wanted to get up and walk into that room, he wanted to take what he wanted even though he shouldn't. He shouldn't want it. Getting involved with someone you work with? Someone who could be so close all the time was a bad idea. Especially for someone like Mickey who's secrets were so important. Not just to him but to Alyx._

****

****

 

**_Caught up in emotions_ **

**_I'm out of control_ **

_Mickey could understand the sentiment. He felt out of control too. In fact, Alyx had been asking what had him so on edge lately. What it was that was taking up his mind that wasn't music. He had pointed out the stacks of songs he had written as of late and as she read them her eyes had gotten wide.   “You have a crush on someone.” She had said practically bounding out of her chair.  “Tell me about him, tell me about him now!!!!” She had exclaimed lounging across his lap._

_“Don't know what you're talking about.” He had told her but, of course, she hadn't believed him. She knew him, she knew him every bit as he knew her and he knew that but saying it would be confirming that he was fucked for the red hair and green eyes and he wasn't ready to admit how utterly screwed he was._

****

****

_But right now? Right now he didn't care. He wanted to be fucked. Good and hard and up against that glass. God, he wanted Ian to sing in his ear as he rammed into him over and over again until he collapsed against the floor. God, he wanted him right now._

****

****

_“Holy shit!” Mickey heard her voice and he groaned. He turned to see Alyx poke her head in and look at Ian with wide eyes as he sang and then she just smiled and blew him a kiss and skipped down the hallway. Fucking damn it._

 

****

_Ian's voice had changed. A little deeper and more painful as he sang the rest of his song. It was even more tragically beautiful the way it sounded on his lips. Fuck it. He couldn't move. He would deal with his “girlfriend” and her nosy ass shit later._

_Ian finished and stepped back into the studio, careful to not stand too close to Mickey.  And he sat down as far away as he could and placed the headphones on his ears to hear himself back. He didn't want to know how Mickey had reacted to his song. He didn't want to be caught staring so he didn't.  He needed to re-cut this tomorrow, his voice was all Over the place with emotion.  He saw her when she entered this time. The girl who had seen in magazines. She was stunning as always, and her looks were nothing compared to how beautiful she really was with a light smile on her face but she looked annoyed.  Was it obvious? Maybe she was gonna kick his ass for having thoughts about what was hers._

_“Mickey.” She says in a low controlled voice and he turns._

_“What?”_

_“We have a meeting.” She says with her jaw clenched and Ian doesn't know why but he sees the look on Mickey's face._

_“But my studio time.” He grinds out._

_“It took forever for me to get this slot. Fucking hell.”_

_“It won't take long and you can come back.” She says with a sad look on her face. It's apparent right there that the girl cares about Mickey and his fake dating theory is shot to shot when she places her hand on Mickey's back._

_“It won't be available if I…hey, you want a little more studio time?” Mickey asks and Ian just looks at him, his eyes pleading. Well, Fuck him if he didn’t practically melt into the floor, earning a strange look from Alyx._

_“I guess?”_

_“Please? I'll owe you. Whatever you want man. I gotta get these songs out. Please, just stay here long enough so these execs can tell us what they want. Please man.” And there's that look again._

_“Okay,” Ian says and Mickey almost moves to hug him, he can see him stop and look back at Alyx. Oh great. This was just great._

 

Ian and Mickey are wrapped up in each other, completely naked, when the door swings open to reveal Alyx in short shorts and a sports bra.  Ian gasps and goes to pull the blanket over himself and Mickey. And she giggles.

 

“Gallagher’s shy?  Didn’t peg that one.” She bounces in and jumps between the boys pulling them apart.

 

“Where’s your boy toy? Go bug him.” Mickey says groaning.

 

“He went to work.” She says.

 

“Fuck, I should go then,” Ian says panicking a little.

 

“What for?” Alyx asks. “I figured you’d be all post-coital cuddly all night?” she says smiling at them.

 

“How does it look that my date left before I did?” he asks.

 

“OH don’t worry about it. We got this.  Chris takes like three different cars until he gets back to his. They won't suspect a thing. And when you’re ready to go, Mickey will work it out. Stay. But can I borrow your lover for a bit?” she asks sweetly and he smiles at her shaking his head. “Actually…wait, ooh, get your boxers on Red, you’re coming with me. I have a song I wanna sing, and youuu can sing it with me.” She says smiling.  “Then I promise to leave you two alone to your fuckfest.”

 

“Have fun,” Mickey says curling up to his pillow.

 

“Don’t think so loverboy, I need you to run sound. Come on my lovelies.” She says giggling and hopping off the bed.

 

 

 

They made it to the sound room, and Ian was in awe. Then suddenly he realized. “Why did you ever use the studio? If you have one of your own?” Ian asks looking at Mickey.

 

“Because he had the hots for a red-head.” Alyx giggled.  “Seriously, it was so obvious, that day I walked into the studio. Fucker was like mesmerized.

 

“Would you shut the fuck up. I was not. I was horny.”  Mickey says crossing his arms and Ian stares a Mickey.   “What? You all…God, okay can you two go sing, so I can take him back to fucking bed already.” Mickey huffs.

 

 

_“That’s him,” Alyx says in the hallway on the way up to the meeting._

_“That’s who? The new singer for the label? Yeah, that’s him.” He says rolling his eyes trying to pretend he didn’t know what his best friend was on about._

_“No…Don’t lie to me. You’ve been all moony lately, and disappearing more than usual. You’ve been coming to the studio to see him, to the office, which is a place you fucking hate by the way. To see him. Because you fucking like him.” She says all cheery._

_“Shut up, will you.  It doesn’t matter anyway.”_

_“Well, why the fuck not? He’s hot as hell. Don’t tell me he’s straight, because that’s not possible.” She says._

_“No, he isn’t. First of all, he’s completely out, like in the papers and shit, and second of all he kind of tried to proposition me once, but I turned him down, sort of.” He says._

_“The fuck for? You like him, he wants you? What is your problem, Milkovich?” She asks crossing her arms and stopping her walking._

_“He works with us Aly, He is in the public eye too, I can’t just hide him away, and pretend he doesn't exist. And What if he isn’t comfortable with this? How we are, how we have to be…What if he wants me to…Come out?” He says._

_“Dear god, you’re a drama queen.  1. You haven’t even had a date yet, or a kiss or a fuck, so chill out.  2. So the fuck what? You gonna hide away because you’re scared? I get you not coming out, I get it, why uproot your life when you don’t have to. But would it be so bad? To fall in love, to have someone that was worth doing that?”  She says to him._

_“and the contract?”_

_“Fuck ‘em. You do know if you ever want to come out, I got your back right? Us, this friendship, it’s more important than all the stages and money in the world okay?” She says and he rolls his eyes._

_“Okay yeah, I know.” He says._

_“now tell me about the sexy boy. I wanna know everything.” She says and they continue to walk._

 

Mickey watches with a smile on his face as the music starts to play.  It’s an old song, so obviously she’s recording it for fun.  And he smiles as he watches her sing to Ian.  It’s actually fucking adorable.

**_I've known about you for a while now_ **

**_When he leaves me he wears a smile now_ **

****

Mickey shook his head at the pair of idiots. They weren’t just singing, they were dancing around and twirling each other as they did it.

 

****

Mickey noticed the twinge on Ian’s face as he sang it, but it passed shortly after and it reminded him of a time not long ago. A time when Ian would have never been in a room with his fake fiancé singing like she was his best friend too.

 

 

 

****

_Ian watched them together, he couldn’t help it. He had thought…Well, he was fucking wrong, that’s what. Because he watched them. They were fucking something.  All smiling and light touches. That couldn’t be fake. They loved each other and what was he?  Nothing, just some asshole who was trying to come in between the happy couple because he had a hardon for the singer. That was not who he was. Or who he would be._

****

 

****

_Ian grew silent over the next week and it was bugging Mickey. They had been in the same room, alone for twenty minutes now, waiting for whatever the fuck his label wanted to see him about and Ian sat across the room as far away as he could, staring at a magazine. He had given a quiet Hi when he had first got there, but nothing.  Had Mickey pissed him off? What happened to the flirty as fuck Ian?  What happened to the guy he couldn’t stop fucking thinking about?_

****

 

****

_Ian looked up when Mickey got closer, He wondered if Mickey was torturing him on purpose? He wasn’t right? That would be cruel?  But he didn’t really know Mickey.  Afterall, Maybe Mickey was cruel and he just didn’t know it._

****

****

_Mickey saw the discomfort on Ian’s face and he brushed it away. But later, later he couldn’t. A week later they were literally alone. It had somehow been arranged that Ian and Mickey spend the day together.  He was sure Alyx had something to do with it but he didn’t complain, but seriously what happened to the guy that couldn’t wait to get Mickey alone, now he was across the room of the penthouse, writing in his book when they were supposed to be writing together. It was driving Mickey crazy, so he snapped.   “Alright, What gives?” He asks._

_“What do you mean,” Ian asks looking up._

_“Did I do something to piss you off? Because like a couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t get rid of you, all nice and joking and shit. You even…wanted to…hang out with me alone, and here I am alone, and you look like you’d really like to jump face first out the damn window before hanging out with me? You find out where I’m from and decide you’re too good to be friends with me or somethin’?”  It was a low blow, but Mickey wanted to piss him off, of course, he already knew Gallagher was from the south-side but fuck it. Something had to get a fucking reaction right?_

_“I’m southside too. I’m not mad at you, just being respectful is all.” Ian says._

****

****

_“Respectful? Of who?” Mickey asks crossing the room and standing in front of Ian. Closer that he usually would have, in fact, he didn’t plan on landing right in front of Ian, so fucking close to him. Ian was sitting on the stool at the counter in the kitchen and now, Mickey was standing between his legs, looking at him.  God that fucking fire of hair was nothing compared to what he was feeling right now._

_“Of your girlfriend.  Of you.  Okay? I didn’t…I misread you okay? I thought you were…it’s stupid alright. I feel like an ass for hitting on you.”_

_“You knew about Aly before you met me right?” Mickey asks confused. Everyone knew about him and Alyx, like the whole entire universe._

_“I thought it was… a publicity thing, but it’s not, so I’m sorry for assuming you were into me, or guys in general really. I’m trying to keep my distance so I don’t make an ass of myself.” Ian says letting it out, and Mickey saw it then, he wasn’t pissed at Mickey, he was hurt. Because he thought Mickey didn’t like him, could never like him. Fucking hell, damn it if that didn’t do something to him._

_Mickey reaches up and touches Ian’s face bringing his chin up to look back into Mickey’s eyes. Mickey stares into those eyes. He kinda loved those eyes.  And he leaned in close, so close he could barely breathe himself._

_“Who said I wasn’t into you?” Mickey said close to Ian’s ear letting his breath fan over the man's neck. He leaned really close and placed a soft but heated kiss on Ian’s neck before stepping back and walking back to the other side of the room._

_“What…the…” Ian let out staring at Mickey who just looks up from where he is now sitting and smiles._

 

****

Mickey watches his boyfriend and his best friend dance around and he watches as Ian picks her up and swings her in a circle as they sing and he laughs and abandons his soundboard and goes in to join the giggling two.  He wraps his arms around them and enjoys the moment of happiness. A moment that he never wants to let go. If they could all lock themselves in this house forever and live like this. Happy like this. Mickey would be completely okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Next time I take so long, just kick me. :) 
> 
> as always 
> 
> Mysticallygallavich on tumblr. 
> 
> and I adore all of you.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a blow-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im slowly getting back in writing mode, I swear. I wanted to get something out today, this is short, and a little confusing, but it will be explained.

Sing Me A Song – Chapter 5

 

\--

 

“What are you so lost in?” Ian asks Alyx in the early morning hours as he makes his way into the kitchen.

 

“A lot of things,  I’m always thinking about something. Probably why I write music.” She chuckles playing it off.

 

“Just because your mind is always running doesn’t mean that it’s not something important.” He says.

 

“The, Um. Label, it’s not only Mickey’s secret they have, I have a few of my own.” She says biting her lip.

 

“But it’s safe, right? As long as you and Mickey play your parts?” he asks.

 

“Yeah, but how fair is that? He’s not only worrying about his shit but mine too. That’s not cool.” She states sighing.

 

“Hey, we all have our shit. Mickey has his, I have mine.”  He says softly and she shakes her head.

 

“But you just let it all out there.  What was it like your first interview and you just told the world, I’m gay, like me or don’t.  I remember watching it with Mickey, we were both so in awe of you.” She says and he smiles.

 

“Yeah, but for me, that’s not something I need or want to hide. My life was different. Sure we all came from the same place essentially, but I came out to my family when I was a teenager.” He shrugs and she studies him.

 

“What did your parents say?” she asks.

 

“Didn’t care much about what they had to say.  But Frank made some speech about sex that I didn’t fully understand, he was too drunk to care.  Monica was cool about it but she was also manic as hell.  My siblings were who mattered. And that went pretty well.” Ian finishes trying to ignore the look he got when he used the word manic. He thought about explaining it but Alyx didn’t look confused, she just stared at him.

 

“Your mom is..”She starts.

 

“Bi-polar, yeah.” And he thinks for a second because he hasn’t voiced the words in a long time.  “Me too.” He whispers and Alyx looks at him.

“Wait…What? Does…Mick know?” she asks silently and he shakes his head.

 

“I don’t know how to tell him.  How do you tell the person you love that you’re fucking crazy? That without the meds, you’re a fucking disaster. How do you tell anyone that?” he says and She smiles lightly.

 

“You just do.” She says nodding.

 

 

 

Talking about polar opposite reactions.  Ian and Mickey had been laying in bed a week later when he had finally said it. “I am Bi-polar.”  Mickey had jumped out of bed, he was now screaming irrationally.  Ian couldn’t make it out, but all he could get out of it was that Mickey thought he was lying.

 

“That kind of thing isn’t a joke Ian, it’s not funny to say you have that when you don’t.” He screams and marches out of the room leaving Ian sitting on the bed staring at the wall.   Finally, after the front door slams, Ian shakes his head and get up to get dressed.  He’s about to grab his bag and get the hell out of there, he had received a lot of reactions over the years about the news that he was bi-polar, but this was the first time someone refused to believe he had it, well other than himself that is.  He had spent so long in denial, he wished he was just the cruel asshole that his supposed boyfriend thought he was, he wished he was making it up, but whatever.   The knock at the door caused Ian to look up, Alyx standing at the door staring intently at him.

 

“He thinks I’m lying” Is all he says as he gets up and packs his things in his bag  “Fuck this, I’m leaving, tell your best friend to go fuck himself.”  He says shaking his head starting to walk out but sees Mickey sitting on the couch fuming.

 

“Alright, you two are obviously both assholes.”

 

“He said he was…he said….” Mickey shakes, visibly shakes and Ian takes notice.

 

“Mickey….”

 

“How did he know, how could you….WHO TOLD YOU.” He screams. “Is that why you’re here, to find out…”

 

“Mickey Milkovich, Close your mouth right now,” Alyx says and looks at Ian, kind, understanding eyes. “Ian, have you…taken…” She starts, and usually he’d snap because he hated that fucking question, he still hated that question but something in her eyes, some kind of understanding in them, stopped him and he shook his head.

 

“Ok, you sit down; I’ll get you some food.  Mickey, don’t stick your fucking foot in it any more than you already have.  Ian do you have them?” she asks at the end and he nods. \\\

 

“Alyx, thanks but I can take them at home,  I don’t want to be here anymore.” He says.

 

“Why?  Because you don’t actually have meds to take?” Mickey quips.  And Alyx’s eyes widen and she can’t fly across the room fast enough because Ian stands up abruptly.

 

“Fuck You! You don’t know what you’re talking about. Why the fuck would I lie?  How in the hell would being Bi-polar be a joke?  Why would I even lie about being fucking crazy? Do you think it’s fun for me?  That I like taking these?!” He says grabbing the pill bottles out of his bag and throwing them at Mickey.  “You think I enjoy being a walking, medicated, smaller version of myself? Do you?!  Because I fucking hate it, but I take them, I take them because without them I’m like her, I’m Monica without them,  I wake up in alleys drugged out of my mind, and god knows who I’ve fucked the night before, or even better I wake up and can't get out of fucking bed for days. Why in the hell would anybody want to say they had this bullshit if they didn’t Mickey!  I thought I knew you, I loved you, and I tried to let you in, tell you the darkest part of me, things that nobody knows about me and what do you do, you throw it in my fucking face!  FUCK YOU!” Ian says and stalks over to him and grabs the bottles out of a stunned Mickey’s hands.

 

“Ian.,” Mickey speaks, the venom out of his voice, worry replaced, regret maybe.

 

“No, don’t speak to me. Don’t you ever speak to me.” He says.

 

“Eat something Ian, come on, for me,” Alyx says softly.  Ian looks at her and takes the sandwich she holding and eats some of it and grabs the water and downs the pills and sits on the chair across the room, waiting for his nerves to calm down.

 

 

“Ian….” Mickey starts again.

 

“Don’t. Mick…Let me.  You’re just gonna make it worse okay.” She says and Mickey nods and walks towards his room.

 

“Ian…I…I’m sorry. I thought…Never mind. I love you.” He says and he goes into his room.

 

 

“Ian, I think me and you need to take a walk, Come on, there are some things I need to tell you.”


	6. Somebody's Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Alyx have a talk, Mickey writes a song, and Ian has a performance, with a song that hits a little close to home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its been a while but im getting back into this. Writing helps me escape and I've needed that recently. So I'm using that energy to update those that ive started and write those that I've promised. :)

Sing Me a Song – Chapter 6 

 

 

 

Alyx looked sadly at Ian as they sat down on the swings at an old park, in the south-side. This was a place she hadn’t been in years, but for both of them, it was a place of home. Seemed like common ground to tell her story to Ian, to explain not only herself but her best friend.

 

“He hates me. I knew he would but I didn’t…he thinks I'm lying.”

 

“he’ll come around Ian, he didn’t mean it. I know its gonna take some time, but he’s gonna come to you eventually, and ask you to forgive him, all I ask, is that you hear him out when he does.”

 

“Why should I?”

 

“When we were kids, it was just us you know? In this shitty space.” She says waving her hands around to motion at the neighborhood.  “We protected each other, loved each other, and something changed, besides the dreams of getting out, and becoming something else, something like we are now, that was just a dream, at the time it was never going to happen, especially not when I started…changing.”

 

“Changing?”

 

“I lost every sense of myself. I didn’t know what was happening to me. The drugs, the parties, the feeling…I don’t know. I was a kid, it was just what people did around here, ya know? I didn’t think much of it.”

 

“I don’t understand,” He says looking at her.

 

“When did you know Ian? That you were bipolar, how old were you, when you just couldn’t deny it anymore?”

 

“I was 16 the first time they told me when they locked me up.  It was a couple of years before I said the words, but I knew, I mean, I was acting like her, it was hard to deny anymore.”

 

“I didn’t have that, nobody locked me up and said this is what it is. I was sick Ian, I am sick. I was a kid,  I was 12, I lost everything, but Mickey.”

 

“You...Wait…You’re…”

 

“I am, I have Cyclothymic Bipolar disorder. I don’t know what kind you have Ian, but mine isn’t so much the extremes, I alter more often than type 1 or 2. Which causes extreme anxiety, before the meds, I heard things, saw things, they weren’t there, I was a mess. I did things, things that could ruin me.” She takes a deep breath.

 

“That’s what they have on you? The things that Mickey is afraid of coming out if he…comes out.” He says understanding.

 

“Yes. The public doesn’t know about my illness, they don’t know what I did before I got famous but the label knows, just like they know that Mickey is gay. Look, Ian, Mickey didn’t freak out because he thinks you would..lie. He freaked out because there was someone, he liked, he thought liked him, it was the first time he opened up to anyone about who he was, was going to try to be in a relationship or whatever. That person betrayed him, that person is the reason the label knows about all of it. It broke his heart. He doesn’t trust himself, which means..”

 

“Which means he doesn’t trust me. I’m not that person, I’m not trying to hurt him or you…I would never.” He says shaking his head.

 

“I know that Ian, and he does too. It’s hard for him, all of this, protecting me, protecting him. It's killing him. I just want it all over, for it to all come out, but this life, this music, it's every fucking thing. I want his pain to go away Ian, I want to make it all better. And if he came out I would be fine, I would deal with the outcome, I would for him.”

 

“But he wont let you because he doesn’t want them to hurt you. He doesn’t want them to tear you apart, I don’t blame him for that Alyx. The only thing that’s on him is the way he talked to me today. That is not something I can forget, as much as I want to, as much as I love him. I cant just forget all of that. I’ve been hurt too, because of my disease, because of me even.”

 

“Just remember what I said. When he comes to you. Hear him out. You don’t have to forgive him for me but listen to him. He feels what you feel, I can see it all over his face. Don’t give up on him yet Ian.”

 

 

 

Mickey took a deep breath and sat alone with his guitar, flashes of Ian running through his mind, and everything that happened earlier. He didn’t need Alyx to come home and tell him that Ian was telling the truth, he knew. He had fucked up, that look on Ian’s face, that disappointment, fear, mixed with so many things. Ian had shared the darkest part of himself, and Mickey spat on it, spat on everything they were.

 

_What have I done?_

_I wish I could run,_

_Away from this ship going under_

_Just trying to help out everyone else_

_Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders_

_What can you do when your good isn't good enough_

Mickey began to cry as he wrote and he sang. Thinking of the love he had surely lost for himself. Fuck the label, fuck everything. Ian was gone, his Ian and nothing hurt more than that.

 

 

Alyx stood by the door listening to her best friend fall apart on the floor with only his guitar. It was a beautiful song, so much pain, she had to make it better for him. He had to make this better an be happy the way he deserved.

 

 

She sits by him and looks down at the lyrics he’s written out and lightly sings with him, to let him know that she’s there and he continues to cry.

 

 

“Tell me how to fix it,” he says stopping his singing before he continues.

“Fight for him, Mickey.” She says to her friend.

“How?”

 

“I think you know how.”

 

“I cant..”

 

“We can. Fuck them. Fuck all of them.” She says holding her best friend.

 

 

 

“How long do you think we have before they fight back?”  One man says in the dark room

 

“Not long. It’s time.  This will not be a story of courage. It will be a story of betrayal.  The media loves a story of betrayal.” He says. “She will be the scorned lover, and if she wants her career, she will go along.”

 

 

Mick: I need to talk to you

 

Ian: Not yet. I have work.

 

Mick: When?

 

Ian: I’ll let you know

 

Ian sits down his phone and goes out on the stage of the talk show to perform and be interviewed. He can't deal with this Mickey stuff right now. He needs to focus.

 

 

Flashes of his younger self-flashes through his mind. A little red-headed boy crying, not understanding what was wrong with his mother, why she wasn’t what he needed her to be, not knowing if he would understand truly she was the way she was.

 

Flashes of an older Ian, a Manic Ian, an out of control Ian, the time that Ian truly understood his mother for the first time, was the first crash. He knew why she was the way she was because it was in him too. The demons that filled her, filled him too.

 

 

The dark alley that Ian had been in, the first time he picked up the phone to call Lip, to tell him he needed help, that he knew what they told him, what was true.

 

 

Visions of himself, getting the help he needed, and then something unexpected happened, what he saw wasn’t him anymore as he sang. It was Mickey, the thought of Mickey having to be the one to see what he had seen. For him to fight to save his best friend and what that must of felt like and it grabbed at his heart, tore him to bits.

 

Ian took a deep breath as he finished and made his way for the interview portion of this.

 

“Wow. That was powerful.” The interviewer Jessica says.

 

“Yeah, that song means a lot to me. It’s a part of me.”

 

“Why is that?”

“I went through something, I was in a dark place, this song is an ode to my family, who pulled me out of my darkness. I wouldn’t be sitting here today without the people that helped me through my own demons.”  He says honestly.

 

\--

 

“Did you see it?” Alyx asks.

 

“Yeah…that song. I’d never heard it.”

 

“It hits home.” She says knowingly.

 

“Yeah, it does. Too close.”

 

 

When Ian walked into up to his door that night, there was Mickey sitting on the sidewalk in plain sight.

 

“What are you doing? You could get caught?” he asks.

 

“Don’t care right now. Needed to see you.” Mickey answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs Included : 
> 
> Get it right - (as sung on Glee by Lea Michelle) 
> 
> Someone's Someone - Daphne Willis (If you haven't heard this, listen to it, it's amazing!)


	7. Outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they boys are busted...and everyone's lives are turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i haven't been writing much lately. but sitting here at 2am, it's all i wanted to do. With music playing. I will have more time soon, for a while, to get some of this out. :)

Sing Me a Song – Chapter 7 (outed)

 

It was like a flash of lightning, watching but not really seeing. Alyx was sitting in the living room watching TV, it was early morning, and Mickey hadn’t made it home which she was hoping was a good sign but then it happened.  Some celeb gossip show came on, and as she went to change it because how annoying was that shit, but there it was, Mickey, and Ian, pictures, video, oh god.  What the fuck??  She rushed to call her best friend who wasn’t picking up.  Fuck fuck fuck.

 

 

Mickey woke up on the floor of Ian’s apartment. It had been such a long night of fighting, and kissing and fucking, and fighting again. It was all coming back to him in flashes, flashes of pain and anger, and love and care. 

 

_“What do you want Mickey?” Ian says crossing his arms over his chest._

_“I'm sorry.”_

_“I know. But sorry isn’t always good enough.”_

_“I didn’t…you don’t understand”_

_“I do.”_

_“She told you.”_

_“She did. It’s not enough Mick. You called me a liar.”_

 

Suddenly Mickey is pulled out of his thoughts, by the screech of a certain redhead.  “FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! NO! oh god what the fuck.” Is what he hears coming from the middle of the living room and he gets up and runs into Ian’s living room sliding across the hardwood floor in his socks.  Ian looks shellshocked, and suddenly he turns to the tv and his eyes widen, Him an Ian talking, fighting, kissing, oh fuck.

 

“what the…” Mickey starts and Ian turns to him.

 

“Mickey, I'm so…I didn’t…fuck…we can fix it right? Like your people can do something with this right? Of course, you’ll never be allowed to see me, but I mean, it would keep you…fuck. I'll figure it out, ill figure out how to protect you, and her.” Ian rambles on like a madman and Mickey just watches and smiles a little. 

 

“I love you,” Mickey says and Ian stops.

 

“What did you…”

 

“I love you. I fucking love you okay? I know we aren’t better but I’ll fix us, and I’ll deal with this.” He says and Ian just stares at him.

 

 

 

Alyx sighs as she picks up her phone, Mickey finally calling.  “Fuck finally, I’ve been trying to find you. I have to warn you”

 

“That I'm all over the tv, oh I fuckin know it.”

 

“On my way to the studio. We got to get ahead of this Mick.”

 

“what if I don’t want to?” he asks softly.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What if he means more…”

 

“Are you saying???”

 

“Only if it’s okay with you.”

 

“Fuck yeah it is. Let me see what these fuckheads say. Always a team, mick. You and me against the world yeah?”

 

“Damn right.”

 

 

_After hours of screaming and fighting outside the apartment, Ian knew they were drawing attention to themselves._

_“Mick, we should go inside…it's not…safe.”_

_“Will you forgive me in there?”_

_“Mickey…”_

_“Fuck it, I don’t care who’s watching, I don’t. fuck it. Come here. Want me to show you, you matter huh?”  then it happened Mickey closed the distance between them by that tree and pulled Ian to him and kissed him harder and more passionately than Ian could possibly remember him ever kissing him before. So much desperation in that kiss_

“You were right, they were watching,” Mickey says knowing exactly what Ian is thinking of

 

“You regret it?”

 

“I could never regret you,” Mickey says. 

 

 

 

“Fucking dickbags,” Alyx says to Mickey on the phone.

 

“What?”

 

“They want me to play the scorned lover. Take you down and rise to stardom by playing on people's sympathies.”

 

“And if you do it…”

 

“Then I get to keep my secrets for now. I won't do it mick. I won't ruin everything you have built and let the world think you've been cheating on me.”

 

“But it would work out. I come out, so I can't perform until the contracts up, but it'll be fine.”

 

“And Ian? You think about him? What it could do to him? Sure he's out but homewrecker? Do you think he can deal with that?” She asks

 

“Fuck. This is my fault. He said to go into the house. He said but no I just had to fucking prove that I loved him out in the open like a jackass.”

 

“Talk to your boyfriend mick. I'm not gonna do this and hurt you. I'll bare my soul to the world before I let that happen. 

 

 

Mickey bites the side of his lip explaining all of it to Ian. Everything they want and what it would mean for all of them.

 

“And What would happen? If she does it?” Ian asks curiously.

 

“They don’t out her past, but I…no we get thrown under the bus.  I don’t care about me. But you….”

 

“I'm already out,” Ian says

 

“But not like this.  Alyx and Mickey, it couple, broken up by you….the press will tear you apart Ian. Say that we together broke her heart. It could hurt your career. Your contract could be at stake too.” Mickey hangs his head.

 

“and if I say yes, she goes a long with it and we…could be us…no hiding?” Ian asks.

 

“Is there still an us?” Mickey asks sadly. 

 

“There will be. We have a lot to talk about Mick, you said horrible things to me, and a public kiss and professing your love doesn’t wipe that away…but I love you too.”

 

Mickey looks up suddenly and smiles just a little.  Ian loves him.

 

“So we doing this red?”

 

“Yes. Fuck them all. Me and you out. Alyx is safe.”

 

 

 

That was the decision that was made, they told Alyx and she didn’t say much, she nodded at the meetings as they set up her concert that would originally be a couples concert for her and mick, and watched them change it around. Change her song list around to some stronger woman bullshit that she wanted to scream at. But she sat in silence and let them do it, and while Mickey and Ian were completely ok with being thrown under the bus for her, she wasn’t. She felt guilt every time some stupid news outlet posted another story about how heartbroken she was and how strong and amazing she was, in turn, trashing her best friend and the love of his life.

 

“What are you thinking beautiful?” Chris asks her sitting on the couch.

 

“This is bullshit.  I cant let them do this to him.”

 

“whats the alternative?”

 

“They find out about my illness, about the things that I have done. They let the whole world see, and then you see. All of it.” She says sadly.

 

“I know about it, and I’m still here baby, maybe your fans will be too.”

 

 

“Knowing it and seeing it are two very different things.” She says sadly.

 

The following week was hell on all three of them all in different ways.  True to form the media painted Alyx like a hero. Like a scorned lover who had been wronged, mostly that is how she was portrayed and that was bad enough, even worse were the people asking how she could be so stupid to not notice she had been loving and living with a man with “Other Tastes” for so long. And yes they actually did use words like that.  For Mickey, it was the first time he was out and it was not a good experience.  While many of the outlets didn’t condemn him for being gay, yes there were a few but mostly it was over breaking his best friend’s heart. It killed him for his fans to see him as this monster who snuck around behind her back, all the while romancing Ian and Ian… Ian was now the home wrecker.  Never mind that he wasn’t the other woman, he was the man that Mickey had fallen in love with, but that was the thing, he was the one thing that came in between the star couple, and that was …never a good thing.  They were all in for a world of hurt, and they damn well knew it.

 

 

 

“I have to go home…” Ian says shaking his head as he and Mickey are hiding out in an apartment of Mickey's that nobody knew about.

 

  
“You can’t give up Ian…Your fans will forgive you…they have to.” Mickey puts his head down. They weren’t back to them yet, but with everything going on, they were there for each other.

 

“It’s not that, it’s not even that the label is talking about pulling my contract, it’s my family…I love them, the press can’t get to me…now they are attacking my family. I chose this life, and that means everything that comes with it. The press, all the bullshit. But they didn’t Mick…The only thing they ever got out of my fame was the bills paid. And they don’t deserve this…well maybe frank…but not them.”  Mickey nods at Ian.

 

“You’re right. Maybe I should go check on Mands anyway. Ya know…she can hold her own, but I should probably make sure she hasn’t decked and pops and gotten locked up.  I'm going to call Alyx.”  Ian nods at him.

 

“Tell her I’m thinking of her too. This can’t be easy for her either.”

 

“it’s not” Mickey states knowing exactly how Alyx was handling this. His best friend was ready to pack it all in, but he couldn’t let her.

 

 

 

 

_Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not_

_Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught_

_But you put on quite a show_

 

 

“no, no, I'm not doing this…Look I haven’t said anything but I'm not singing all this scorned woman shit…” Alex groans into the mic.

 

“You will do as your told!” Gary, mr.moneyman himself says from the other end of the stage.  

 

“Fuck you! And your money and this fame and all this shit Gary. FUCK YOU!” She screams and storms off.

 

 

“HELLO,” she screams into the phone as it rings.

 

“Woah there Cujo.” Mickey says into the phone.

 

“sorry.” She sighs.

 

“that bad huh?”

 

“they have me singing this poor me bullshit. I cant do it, Mickey. I cant. It's not worth this. None of it is.”

 

“Sure it is Aly, don’t go down in flames with the rest of us. Listen. Ian and I are gonna head home for a few days to sort family, and the paps, keep doing what you're doing. We will be watching that concert on TV.”

 

“Oh no you don’t Milkovich, you assholes will be there, if I have to hide you in my dressing room. I cant do this without you. I never could.” She says honestly.

 

“Alright, alright. I’ll figure something out okay…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song played - Take a bow -Rhianna


	8. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alyx has a concert, and lets some truths out for the world to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used in this chapter Include:
> 
> -Little Do you know - Alex and sierra  
> \- Sit still, Look Pretty - Daya  
> \- Cant stop love - Kane brown ft. Chandler stevens  
> \- Please dont leave me - P!nk

Sing Me A Song – Chapter 8  -  The Concert

 

Alyx had a plan…and it was a big one. It would blow up her entire life, but she was done. Weeks of interviews listening to the press refer to her best friend as a liar, a cheater, everything but what he was. And she was done.  Mickey and Ian would be here for this concert, it had taken some convincing but she had worked it out, not completely to the knowledge of the higher ups, but they could sit pretty until it all blew up in their faces. This concert was televised, once she hit that stage there wasn’t a damn thing they could do about anything. And that’s exactly what she was counting on, she could play along for a minute, but then the stage was all hers. And all hers, it would be.

 

 

Alyx walked out onto her stage and took a deep breath, it would all be okay, even after everything, this was her life, her stage, and her choices, be damned what it meant for her.

 

_Little do you know_

_How I'm breaking while you fall asleep_

_Little do you know_

_I'm still haunted by the memories_

_Little do you know_

_I'm tryna pick myself up piece by piece_

 

 

 

 

Alyx felt the audience, she took it in, she sang a few more sad and poor me ballads, and it was time. She smiled a little to herself. It was time.

 

“Thank you all for coming out. I know this concert was originally planned to be different, and a lot has happened in the past few weeks. And tonight, its time to lay it all to rest. Time to be honest.”  She says.

 

_Could dress up_

_To get love_

_But guess what?_

_I'm never gonna be that girl_

_Who's living in a Barbie world_

_Could wake up_

_In makeup,_

_And play dumb_

 

 

 

 

 

 

_No, I don't wanna sit still, look pretty_

 

“You know there are some people back there…” She points to the back of the stage. “Getting pretty nervous right now.  That wasn’t on my song list. But it says everything I need to say. In the last few weeks I have been told, to smile and wave and play the part of the scorned lover. Well, I am not and I won’t be.” She says and hears the cheers, they don’t understand yet but they will.  “I know you have all heard a lot of what you think is going on. In my life and what happened. I’m here to tell you, that all that on the surface, is bullshit.” She says finally.

 

 

“What the fuck is she doing???” Gary screams from the back looking over at Ian and Mickey who are both standing in shock.

 

“Fuck if I know. But you and I both know there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. You pull her now, and she will have every paparazzi at her door asking her why? And yours too Gary. You want that?”  Mickey turns back to Ian.

 

“What is she doing?” Ian whispers.

 

“Fuck if I know…but god help anyone that gets in her way.”

“Now this next song, I have sung before, you will recognize it as a song I sing with my best friend…and yes as you wonder, he still is my best friend, he always will be. So I ask, could you all please, welcome my best friend, Mickey to the stage.” She says it and hears the boos. “None of that, come on Mickey…Bring that redhead with you.”  Mickey shakes his head but she keeps urging until he walks out, with Ian. The boos are still there but the awe is evident.

 

“Now, this is my best friend Mickey Milkovich. Not my lover, not my fiancé, but my best friend and this gorgeous specimen is his boyfriend. Before a few weeks ago, you all loved them but you didn’t know them. But I did. I've known Mickey my entire life, and I love him just the same. So I want you to really hear me as I sing. Because after all you cant stop love.”

 

_A little bit reckless_

_A little bit wild_

_You found trouble like it was going out of style_

 

Alyx grabs Ian's hand with her left hand and Mickeys with her right and holds them up bringing them together as she sings.

 

 

“I know many of you feel invested in our lives, and in turn, you feel lied to, and that’s not okay. But this man didn’t betray me and he didn’t betray you.  In a perfect world, he never would have had to hide, but it isn’t exactly easy to be who you are where we come from, and then to have it all on display like this. He is a man, a man who fell in love.  And I am a woman, a woman who fell in love. Just not with each other.  You want to walk out of here because of our personal lives, hate us, stop buying our music, okay that’s your right but before you do, you should hear the truth: and enjoy the show in between because this is a concert after all.”

 

Mickey looked at his best friend in awe, she was doing this for him. She was bearing it all for the world to see, through music and through her words, and he loved her for it. And he smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her. His affection for her may not be what the world once thought it would be, but he loved her the same, she was his sister, his best friend. She was everything.  

 

Alyx looked at her best friend, as she was brought back to a time that still terrified her, a time when she was destructive and as she sang her next song, she let it take her back, this was it. It wasn’t just about telling the truth about Mickey, but about herself.

 

“There was a time in my life, I made a lot of mistakes, this next song is about that time. A time in my life that I am not proud of, a time in my life, that I have never spoken to anyone publically about, well that’s all about to change…Everything is about to change.”

 

 

**_“Get Out!!” Alyx yelled across the room. Her best friend who was standing at the door with his arms crossed across his chest didn’t budge.  So she picked up the vase on the table and threw it towards him, it crashing next to his head with a loud bang._ **

****

**_“Nice Try Jezy, Not happening.”_ **

****

**_“Don’t fucking call me that, I'm not a child anymore!!” She screamed at him for using the shortened version of her middle name. The name he had called her when they were kids because he thought Alyx was a stupid name for a girl._ **

 

**_Alyx stood thinking, how could she get him to leave, nobody should see this, she was losing control, she could feel it, her brain, her insides, nothing was right anymore, nothing was okay. And Mickey couldn’t see this, not him. Anybody but her best friend, who held her when she cried as a child, anybody else. She Burst into tears, screaming at the top of her lungs.  “I hate you!”_ **

****

**_Mickey took a deep breath. She doesn’t mean it, he reminded himself._ **

****

 

_How did I become so obnoxious?_

_What is it with you that makes me act like this?_

_I've never been this nasty._

_Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?_

_The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest._

_But baby I don't mean it,_

_I mean it, I promise_

**_There were more days like that one, over and over again. Alyx’s moods were always different, whether she was running around, the girl thought she was invincible, or she was screaming at him, crying, or she wouldn’t move. She would ball herself up on the floor and stare at the wall, lightly singing to herself.  When she finally broke down and said the words, he already knew, he did. He knew her better than he knew himself, but nothing would or could ever prepare him for the broken sound in her voice when she spoke the words._ **

 

 

_  
“ **Mickey…Somethings wrong with me…I'm so scared Mickey. I'm so scared.” She cried and he ran to her, holding her while she cried. It was in that moment he vowed to never let her down again because at this moment he felt like he had. She was so broken, and for the first time in his life, he didn’t know how to fix it. Not yet, but he would find a way, he had to.**_

 

 

 

 

_“ **Please don’t leave me, Mickey, I'm sorry, I know I've done things, said things, im so sorry.” She spoke lightly.**_

****

**_“Not going anywhere Alyxis Jesabelle, ever, I'm right here. You know we need to get you help yeah?”_ **

****

**_“I don’t need..”_ **

****

**_“You do…I cant fix this on my own Jezzy, But together, we can get you the help you need. We can.”_ **

 

 

 

 

  
“A long time ago I was lost…and I needed to find myself, to know how truly lost I was. When I was 17, not long after…I made my first record, you know the one that didn’t sell a bunch…I was diagnosed…” She took a deep breath and Mickey put his arm around her and Ian rushed to her other side and held her hand and nodded at her. “I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. I did a lot of unsavory things, that I'm sure you’ll hear about, I just wanted you to know that is not who I am, the things I did when I was sick are not who I am.” She says sobbing a little before getting a hold of herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my ramblings. :)


	9. The breakdown of it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concert continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs featured include 
> 
> \- cry with you - hunter hayes  
> Unwell - matchbox twenty

Sing Me a Song – Chapter 9 – The breakdown of it all

  
Alyx knew she was asking for trouble, but she was letting it all out, she had just announced on stage, on television that she was bi-polar, there is no stopping it now. It was time to let it all out. Mickey was right by her side like he had been since she was a little child, crying and alone. She smiled at him softly before she saw him speak into his microphone.

"It's true that I haven't been honest. I have been lying to myself and to anyone else for years. Afraid of who I am, what I am and because of this strong woman standing next to me, I accepted myself. I haven't been ready to let all of you into this part of myself and Maybe I'm still not but I don’t really have any say in it any longer, do I? So I'm going to sing something, to honor the friendship that has made me survive for my entire life. I wrote it a long time ago, for her birthday, to show her that I would always be there. I have never sung it in public, but tonight is the night that I sing it for her, and for this man next to me who has dealt with more in a short time than anyone should have to, and for all of you. All of you that are ever afraid to be you. Afraid of everything and anything at the same time. We all have our crosses to bear, we all do, and I just want you to know baby girl, When you cry, I cry with you." He says winking at his best friend and keeping his hand firmly in Ian's.

 _When you try not to look at me_  
_Scared that I'll see you hurting_  
_You're not hiding anything, no_  
_And frankly, it's got me worried_  
_Nobody knows you better than I do_  
_I keep my promises, I'm fighting for you_

**Mickey looked down at his best friend the first time he saw her in that place. The place he wanted to take her from but he knew he couldn't. He couldn’t make it all go away like he always had before. She was sick, and she needed help to pull herself out of the hell she had been in for so long. He felt broken, he felt like he could feel every ounce of pain inside her. It was killing him, and he cried himself to sleep maybe even more often than she did her own. This would never go away but he would be here for her, no matter what that meant. No matter the dreams he had to say goodbye. His best friend was all that mattered to him in the entire world and that was everything to him. Anything he could do to ease her pain.**

_You're not alone_  
_I'll listen till your tears give out_  
_You're safe and sound, I swear that I won't let you down_  
_What's hurting you I, I feel it too_  
_I mean it when I say_  
_When you cry, I cry with you, with you_

 

  
**"How you feelin Jezzy?" He asked her as she looked at him with a blank stare. She wasn't there. He knew she wasn’t herself, she hadn't been in a long time but her eyes had always shown that she was still there inside, but this time, it was like the light had gone out of her eyes and there was nothing left. He begged to the gods that he didn't believe in to help her, to save her. He made all the vows that he thought he needed to make to save her. If she was broken, so was he.**

 

Ian looked at the man of his dreams singing a beautiful song, that he already knew Mickey had written about being there for Alyx. He had been struggling for days to get over the reaction Mickey had had upon finding of his own bi-polar but it wasn’t until this moment that he had understood. As much as he and Alyx had both lived through the depths of their own hells. Mickey had too. He wondered what it would have been like if he had someone like Mickey when he was going through it. Would he have been able to let him in the way Alyx so obviously was able to? Would he have run away? It was entirely possible that’s exactly what he would have done. He had run from everyone else back then. From his family, he hadn't had a best friend or a lover to help him or understand him, just his family. Who even to this day he was sure seeing his mother in him when they looked at him. And to have to hide that. It was a part of him he truly always wanted to hide. He had never been ashamed of being gay. It was just him, he would never understand that part of Mickey in that way. He was never terrified of that part of him.

His disorder, on the other hand, more than terrified him. It took away everything that he had known to be true about himself. It broke him down and destroyed him. That he completely understood all too well and he stared at the man he loved and the woman that held a piece of his heart. And he understood. He understood a lot more about the two of them than he ever had before. She was his other half, in a way that Ian maybe never could be, his best friend. Ian wasn’t jealous at the thought like he had once been. he knew Mickey held no romantic feelings for the woman, who gave as much heart as she got. It was a different love, maybe even a more powerful love and in his eyes it was beautiful.

 

  
\--

"Wow. I think everyone would agree that was the most beautiful thing in the world. I get that I'm the other man in this instance and to all of you. But I am not here to break them apart but to hopefully become an extension of that. Because you feel betrayed because their love isn't romantic but its so much more important than that. So much more. So if they don't mind I would like so sing something." Ian said looking at Alyx and she nodded at him, moving to hold pull him into a hug with this beautiful look in her eyes. It wasn’t just a simple look it was a look of compassion and love.

"As someone who fought through bipolar disorder myself, I know what it is like to feel lost and alone and like nothing could or ever would be right again. I did a lot of things I regret too. Keep that in mind when you hear her story. Remember that sometimes because of things out of your control, there is no helping yourself until you can admit that it's happening and that's what this is about." Ian says kissing Alyx on the cheek making Mickey smile at him softly.

 

Ian, for the first time in a long time, let his own memories rush through him. Thinking of the mania, and the guys and the fairy tale. The way reacted and reacted to every instance making him exactly what people thought of him. The things that broke up and tore him apart. He didn’t even notice that His boyfriend and Alyx had moved to hold him as he sang and cried out as the words fell out from him.

 

Ian heard the whispers from Alyx telling him they were in all of this together. If one of them were going down then it meant they all were and songs like this reminded him that he had been through worse than some tabloid bullshit. It was the next set of whispers that set him on fire and made everything almost worth everything. He heard the whispers of I love you's coming from Mickey's mouth and he knew that while Mickey might never understand what it was like to have bipolar disorder inside of him, he knew all too well how much it hurt to think of a part of himself and to live with the past.

 _I'm talking to myself in public_  
_Dodging glances on the train_  
_And I know, I know they've all been talking about me_  
_I can hear them whisper_  
_And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me_  
_Out of all the hours thinking_  
_Somehow I've lost my mind_

 

 

As the song ended the three of them looked out into the audience who erupted in cheers. No more boos around. There was nothing like an artist opening themselves to the people watching with so much raw energy and pain to take everyone in. They all had known that before but never really understood it.

"I think we need to lighten this up. What do you guys think?" Mickey spoke with a light laughter and the audience followed cheering for the three of them. And they were off. Singing together and dancing around the stage in a show that would be talked about not only in the days that would follow but maybe even for years after. The show in which Ian and Mickey were publicity a couple. A concert in which Alyx admitted who she was and brought her real fiance up on stage to hold close.

The show in which three artists sang their hearts out with the feelings surrounding the songs that each of them had wrote.

It was at that moment that everything had truly changed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up with some comments. And and and some songs lovelies!!

**Author's Note:**

> Mysticallygallavich (Tumblr)


End file.
